Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Running Out Of Time

At 73 years old, my mother realized she did not want to be miserable for another minute of her life! After 16 years of marriage being mistreated, mentally, verbally, and physically abused, I still don't think she had any intention, or even the courage to leave.
One day during a family BBQ at my mothers house was the last straw! Her husband acted so badly to my mom and toward our family, my little children aswell. We all felt very uncomfortable and unwelcomed that we decided that we could not go back anytime soon. This behavior was brought on because dinner would not be on the table until 5 o'clock. Needless to say we ate at McDonnalds that night. We did not even get to sample the horderves because they were thrown into the pool by my stepfather (moms husband). Mom was completely humiliated! After that my mother, missing her three children and grandchildren, decided that if we cannot be together as a happy family with her husband then she would rather do without him, without the house, with nothing if that would be the end result. Mom was destined to be stress free for her last years of life, however many! After all he has been yelling and screaming at her for years, telling her to get out and get a divorce, and so much more! Telling her that it is his house, and that she has nothing and would not survive because she would not get a dime or anything but the clothes on her back. Mom finally decided ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!!! She filed for divorce, 3 years ago!!! STILL NOT DIVORCED!
Mom was told by her lawyer that she could not leave until the divorce was finalized or he could get her for desertion. However, he tried choking her twice and the verbal and mental abuse continued aswell. She lost alot of weight, became sick again after beating cancer, the stress has just got the best of her. Calling her lawyer for information has done no good because the attorney does not return calls. Infact she stated that she is not a "receptionist" and does not make appointments! However, we cannot get a hold of anyone else in her office. So my mothers doctor told her she needed to get out of that house due to the fact that it was seriously affecting her health and well being. Finally mom came up here to be with us, her family and escape from the lonely misery she was living in. Staying back and fourth between my brother and I. Although we are greatful to have her she feels like a burden, and has yet to reach peace in her life. Not to mention we all struggle right now and can't do much for her financially. Mom stays broke now that she cashed in all her savings and stocks to pay off her lawyer each time funds were requested. So far she has paid over $30,000.00 toward divorce proceedings. Her plans were to be independant and survive on her own since she is a young 76 year old in good shape, although the stress has weekened her emensely. Mom continues to stress because of financial difficulties. Divorce is hard enough, let alone having to go through with it at 76 years old!
We have tried contacting her lawyer several times by phone, email, and in person with no results, no return calls no one at the office, and very few emails only when fees were due. My mother recieves no help from her "hopefully soon to be x" husband and no compassion or support from her lawyer. We can not afford to hire another lawyer and my mom does not have another 3 years to waste. She deserves better then this! Mom's laywer advertises compassion and communication to her clients, that was apparently false advertisement. It saddens me that my Mom has to be the victim. She will not go to the legal bar association because she doesn't want to make her lawyer mad for fear this will never end. We are thinking mom's lawyer may be involved with the husbands lawyer somehow. Who knows, all I know is that my mom needs to settle down in her own home and have some peace and happiness in her life before it ends! Also we need to find out how we can get this lawyers attention and bring this madness to an end! If you can't trust in family law, who can you trust??? How will she make it? We need help!

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